Bloom-b-que

By Steve Woodward

Former “Republican” New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg walks into a North Carolina barbeque joint …

All were abuzz at Sweet Lew’s in Charlotte recently when Jewish billionaire and Democrat candidate for President of the United States Bloomberg arrived with an entourage to mingle with the regular folks.

More than 350 Instagram users immediately “liked” the post of Bloomy being handed a piece of ‘que, on the house. Any business owner would be foolish not to leverage the free publicity generated by the arrival of a celebrity through his door, although this did not occur to owners of restaurants visited in the past by Republicans Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Eric Trump. But let’s not digress.

Beneath the surface of an appearance by Bloomberg, or any number of his fellow leftists claiming to be worthy running for President and leader of the free world, are the inconvenient things they disdain about a place like Sweet Lew’s.

The joint smokes and grills meat, which means it is operating in direct opposition to the left’s crusade to ensure we all consume plant-based protein sooner than later.

Sweet Lew’s carbon foot print, although minuscule in contrast to Bloomberg’s private jet, is more than likely a threat to someone, somewhere. Just ask the enviro-Nazis.

Sweet tea — a staple beverage in southern BBQ joints and other eateries — would be banned if Bloomberg caught wind of its similarities to sugary soft drinks.

Plastic straws. Evil. Prevalent in BBQ joints. What were you thinking, Mayor?

Beef consumption. Pork consumption. Consumption in general. Bloomberg would otherwise stand on a campaign stump to declare that Sweet Lew’s is killing the planet — except when he needs a campaign backdrop to appeal to southern voters.

Smokers. Beef and pork is served as barbecue after it’s smoked — in a smoker, which spews smoke into the atmosphere. Just an observation. As mayor, Bloomberg banned smoking, and just about everything.

In the south, before tipping back a 32-ounce beverage, or devouring fried side dishes with their BBQ, folks in restaurants pause to pray. To God. Oops. Fire your advance team.

Mike Bloomberg might not have though twice, but some of Sweet Lew’s customers probably were armed when he burst through the doors in his tailored suit, placing him eye to eye with dangerous practitioners of conceal-carry ordinances. In other words, Mayor, you nibbled BBQ among violent 2nd Amendment defenders.

Right after Bloomberg’s Charlotte visit, the keepers of the Golden Globes Awards announced January 4 that this year’s gala would be meatless to “raise environmental awareness about food consumption and waste.”

Mayor Mike’s Golden Globe for representing liberal tolerance toward the southern BBQ culture has been withdrawn. Pass the slaw.